Why Not Always Same Time?

I feel empty,
Want to repeat time,
It was like his own, without friends,
Although not alone,
Although know is still much to be with,



I don't understand why this happened,
I'm lonely when surrounded by friends,
A lot of attention and is always covered expense,
I always emphasize to my heart,
"Everything is going to change, not always the same, sincere!"
But the hard, no matter how hard to try,

I remember every second before a second event,
will it happen again?
or can it not happen?
sometimes the question changed,
Can this continue? though full of grief, but nothing has changed?
Apparently the answer is simple,
will not,

Want to cry?
but for what? or for whom? There are going to hear?
Angry? same, will not help,

Whatever I do in vain,
is about feelings,
losing the most precious thing 2x,
make it crack toughness,
shouts could be the best alternative,

Why must this?
Why did fate make everything changed,
stopped a little while?
time is never a break,
but I fear the future,
but also not ready to die,
HOW SHOULD?

This question makes me dizzy and feel like death,
I was not ready with everything ..
You may call me immature!
Because I was not mature,
I was not ready confronted with various problems insistently,
casual?
a thousand times I do it but the results I stress,,
not anybody see this reply for everything just "Face Mask"??

Regards,

Edith Khairani Cresson